Is there more to life than this?

Ok, I’m at a place in my life where I feel I need more. I’ve been doing lots of reading about ‘life’ and why I now feel like I want a change.

I think I need to offer my children more than growing up in a tiny village, I want them to learn other languages and be given chances I was never given. Is this wrong of me? I find myself having this inner battle with myself daily.

Do we maybe look at emigrating to the unknown in a bid for a better life and work? Don’t get me wrong, my husband and I have good jobs, we’re comfortable and have a nice lifestyle but I still need more. Should I just be grateful for what I have got?

I feel like I need to break away from the small area that I grew up in, a cluster of small villages with a town in the middle. Everyone knows each other and although there are better jobs further afield in the nearby cities I still feel something is lacking.

Work life balance is not to bad for me however my husband has to commute an hour each way everyday, which isn’t the end of the world but with 2 small children it does effect our ‘family time’.

If we went elsewhere maybe I could work part time which would allow me more time with the children and allow me to be the best mother I could be. I never feel like I am good at both, I’m either on the ball at work and working from home or I’m being a great mum and not working as hard. I never feel like I have it all covered. Moreover this in turn then effects me as a wife- most of the time I’m so exhausted and come the evenings I just want to go to bed.

Am I just looking at this with rose tinted glasses?

I want my children to feel secure, loved and be well educated so they can achieve all of their dreams. Something I never felt growing up.

Does anyone else feel like this? Maybe I need to reach inside myself to discover myself once and for all. I don’t want to stand still, we only get one shot at life and I want to look back with a sense of pride that I did everything in my power to make the best possible life for my family.

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Life woes

Today started fairly well both kids woke up in good moods and I was on time for once. Got ready rather quickly messy hair and a quick bit of makeup, did the kids hair then shot out of the door ready for a day at work.

Today I feel like everyone and everything was sent to try me. My job would be so much easier if it didn’t involve people! I work in education and the staff are worse than the kids.

Fire drill was this morning, not too bad all in all. Always a smart arse who has to make comments to people- just why?! One person in tears over nothing, really? This was before I had even had chance to eat my breakfast.

Today I feel like I could have a tantrum and just lay on the floor and kick and scream. Does anyone else want to join me? I’m highly professional (coughs).

Now on my lunch break (yes I have left the building for once, shock horror!).

My mood has not improved at all, I’m trying to be good but I want to gorge on crap. I love food but hate being fat, if only there was a magic pill.

Anyway I’m now going to return to work to check the place is still standing. I will try not to kill anyone, I really do have self control who knew it?

Kids can have pancakes for tea= quick and easy. #badmother sorry to all of those Ella kitchen mums out there but this mumma is hot, tired and cranky.

Sunday Evening Routines- A Mother’s Way

We actually had a fab time at the party- The kids loved it and ‘real’ dinosaurs visited the kids. Daddy stayed at home, so no whinging about all the things he needs to do or how he hates kids parties.

I got talking to a few mummy’s and actually enjoyed myself! The funniest part was the bloke dressed up as the dinosaur who had very tight lycra bottoms on; let me tell you it didn’t leave a lot to the imagination 😂 It did result in a few of us giggling inappropriately.

We only had one tantrum because the helium balloon wouldn’t sit on the floor nicely like it was told too- so it was all round a good party.

Both kids are bathed and sound asleep in bed yippee, it didn’t take too much effort either. So I’m going to enjoy going to the loo on my own (only a mother understands how special this is!), no one trying to stand in my kickers or asking what I am doing or telling me to hurry up for the 10th time.

I must then wash my hair yawn! If you have hair like mine you would understand it just keeps on growing unless I blowdry and straighten it, so it takes a good hour all in all. Why have not got a personal hairdresser permanently, oh to have the luxury! #soundslikeheaven

Next it’s getting the bags packed and everything out ready for the military mission in the morning so daddy can do the school/nursery run without forgetting anything. I leave for work at 7.00am so it is all systems go, I know it will be a good day if I get to work on time, with no snot on my suit and with no dramas.

Professional head will be on in about an hour (post hair wash) so I can catch up with emails and not start my day with an inbox full. Let’s hope this week is a bit smoother than the last, no crying staff because they have crashed their car on the way in and no one throwing up on the office carpet. Here’s to hopefully a peaceful and mundane week (that never happens, ever!!! But we can but hope).

I am sure I will be wishing another week away tomorrow just to get to the weekend. Diet should start again tomorrow 🙄 The story of my life! Let’s see what curveballs come my way. PS any tips on how to get my fat arse exercising would be greatly appreciated. After working for 8 hours then doing the mummy routine, exercise is the last thing I want to do.

Here’s to all those working mums out there, it isn’t easy, I know! Put your feet up and have one glass of wine before another working week kicks off.

Night all.

The Dreaded Birthday Party

So….. it’s Sunday morning, i’ve already been woken up early and had one child pee in my bed. Sheets off and in the wash all before 7.30am.

What happened to the lay ins? I can’t remember what they feel like, but it sounds like heaven.

So I am a hot and sweaty mess and it’s only 9.00am. I’ve jumped in the bath whilst the kids watch Disney videos and it melts my heart listening to them singing along. How can they be so sweet then be having a tantrum the next second?!

I have the typical school mother scenario this morning, we have a classmates birthday party and I cannot think of anything worse ergh! Why do all these kids have parties, we go to most of them and the whole time it consists of: my child does this, well I drive a Range Rover (my shit clearly doesn’t stink) and fakeness. Does my head in!

The one or two we then miss results in tears because everybody else in the class went and were talking about it ‘all day’. When i’ve rushed to pick the kids up from 2 different locations

The devil on my shoulder whispers to me just don’t go, but then the motherly aspect kicks in. The weather is so good, I want to just sit outside and watch the kids play and chill. But hey for all my sins I’m going to be sat in a hot hall with shit loads of kids shouting and running around like loons. Then there’s always the naughty kid that you just want to shout ‘fuck of and leave my child alone’ too (we all know one of them, and the mothers sat there not watching her child).

So we are going…. but I have greasy hair and a case of cba, so dry shampoo it is. I’m hormonal and covered in spots so let the battle begin with my makeup bag.

After working all week I’ve forgotten to buy a card and present. So come 10am I am going to have to do battle at the supermarket looking for a toy. Then the internal debate of how much to spend kicks in, I don’t want my child to be known as the one that brought the shit present.

Anyway I’m now going to do battle with my greasy mop, spotty face and two kids, wish me luck!

I hope all you other mumma’s have a great day.