Ok, I’m at a place in my life where I feel I need more. I’ve been doing lots of reading about ‘life’ and why I now feel like I want a change.
I think I need to offer my children more than growing up in a tiny village, I want them to learn other languages and be given chances I was never given. Is this wrong of me? I find myself having this inner battle with myself daily.
Do we maybe look at emigrating to the unknown in a bid for a better life and work? Don’t get me wrong, my husband and I have good jobs, we’re comfortable and have a nice lifestyle but I still need more. Should I just be grateful for what I have got?
I feel like I need to break away from the small area that I grew up in, a cluster of small villages with a town in the middle. Everyone knows each other and although there are better jobs further afield in the nearby cities I still feel something is lacking.
Work life balance is not to bad for me however my husband has to commute an hour each way everyday, which isn’t the end of the world but with 2 small children it does effect our ‘family time’.
If we went elsewhere maybe I could work part time which would allow me more time with the children and allow me to be the best mother I could be. I never feel like I am good at both, I’m either on the ball at work and working from home or I’m being a great mum and not working as hard. I never feel like I have it all covered. Moreover this in turn then effects me as a wife- most of the time I’m so exhausted and come the evenings I just want to go to bed.
Am I just looking at this with rose tinted glasses?
I want my children to feel secure, loved and be well educated so they can achieve all of their dreams. Something I never felt growing up.
Does anyone else feel like this? Maybe I need to reach inside myself to discover myself once and for all. I don’t want to stand still, we only get one shot at life and I want to look back with a sense of pride that I did everything in my power to make the best possible life for my family.